September 30, 2008

Holy crap!

It is the end of September! Where did September go? Seriously, I have no idea where the last four weeks have gone. I think time moves faster when you get older.

That and I have this nagging sensation that I've forgotten to do something or forgotten something important. I chalk it up to my innate paranoia which has been stoked as of late . . . but seriously, September is gone and I think I was supposed to do something before it ended.

Oh well. Perhaps I should not have cocktails in the afternoon. . .

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September 29, 2008


Today - yesterday now, was a crazy one. Work was nuts. I've been nonstop since 9 a.m. and it is now 12:16 a.m. and I'm not done. Granted a took a few short breaks and the football game is on in the background, but this is nuts! Or rather, I am nuts. Whoo Hoo. Steelers Won!

Back to work . . .

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September 27, 2008


The neighbors got a horse, a beautiful 2yr. old colt. I want a horse or six like when I was a kid, but can't. I don't have the energy or the time now and there is the small issue with being allergic to horses - severely allergic. Despite that fact, I always had horses growing up.

So today, I loved up on this colt and he loved up on me. By the walk back up my drive, i had hives all over my arms and chest. By the walk up my stairs I had hives all over my face and back. By the walk to the bathroom, I had hives in rather interesting and not at all insensitive places. After a hot shower, a good deal of the hives had disappeared. I'm still itchy all over and my eyes haven't stopped watering for hours. Ah well. Punishment for being in love with a four-legged beauty.

In other news, I got a massage today from the scariest bull dyke I've ever seen. She gave a tremendous massage, but I can't help feeling slightly violated. . . in a strange way . . . girl was quite aggressive. I've got a black and blue mark on my lower back from all the pressure, but I left feeling less tense and crazy - too bad it's all back not 12 hours later, and of my own doing entirely.

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September 25, 2008


Since I have been feeling blue - today I decided to feel red. So, I present to you - my "Fuck me" pumps. So named by a client who insists I wear them whenever we have a meeting. I think they are cute - What do you think?

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September 23, 2008

Getting it Right

There is very little in my life that I do and do right. Challenges, relationships, jobs, projects - I manage to get most of them wrong. So, when I get something right, I want to shout it from the rooftops. Say it loud, say it proud. And I am proud of this - the only thing I've ever got completely right. :) (p.s. I love you guys for being concerned - but this was meant to highlight what I've gotten right! :p - calm down, I'm cool.)

Nikon 08 001.jpg

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September 21, 2008


I've mentioned we are redneck 'round these parts. Today, I spent the morning and afternoon at a cornhole tournament. I was a cornhole girl and I wore this t-shirt:


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And I found my new favorite pick-up line - and girls? If you saw the guy wearing this shirt? Yowza!!

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September 20, 2008

Lawyers, Guns, Beer! - Wupdated!

Whooo frakkin hool! won the Henry .22 LR at 2:20. Indulged in much drink agter tjat!

It is that time of year - lawyers, guns and beer. Also, it is blogcrawl day. So, in honor of blogcrawl day - I will show you where I am going to get my drink on. From 12-7 today, I will be at a local Fire Department Gun Raffle. Yep - for the cool price of $40.00, you get all you can eat, all you can drink and a chance to win the prizes below, drawn every 5 minutes. In addition, you can purchases extra chances on guns walked through the crowd by lovely men and women. Last year? My cuz won - on my ticket - a .40 cal Glock. This year? Maybe I'll win something. Seriously, I'd take nearly anything on the list though I am not particularly fond of quads - I really want the Henry Boyscouts Anniversary Lever Action .22 for my kid! I had a similar .22 growing up. So, eat your heart out - drink up and I'll see ya'll this evening - where I intend to switch from beer to vodka at a mortgage burning party for a friend!

12:00p Remington Model 7 25th Anniversary 7mm-08 (New '08)
12:05p 257 Weatherby Vanguard Sporter Walnut Blued bbl
12:10p Remington 1187 Sportsman Deer Gun 12 gauge 3
12:15p Thompson Center Pro Hunter SS choice of bbl
12:20p Tikka T3 Hunter Choice of Cal
12:25p Savage Model 25 Classic Sporter (New '08)
12:30p Taurus Titanium 38 Special Ultra Lite
12:35p Remington 870 Wingmaster 100th Anniversary (New '08)
12:40p Kimber 17 Mach 2 Hunter
12:45p Browning BL -22 Grade 1 22LR
12:50p Taurus The Judge 45/410 Revolver 3 SS (New '08)
12:55p Savage 112FV Stainless Fluted BBL Choice of Cal
1:00p $5,000 Cash
1:05p Glock 23 40 S&W
1:10p Ruger M77 Mark ll Ultra Lite 204 Cal.
1:15p Walthers SP22 M1 Sports Pistol (New '08)
1:20p Remington 870 Express Slug Gun 12ga. 3
1:25p Smith & Wesson 22A 5.5 bbl
1:30p Marlin 336W 30-30
1:35p Taurus PT 111 9mm Stainless Millennium Pro
1:40p Charles Daily 12ga. Camo Semi-Auto
1:45p Smith & Wesson 627 4 Stainless 357 Mag (New '08)
1:50p Browning BPS Upland Special 12ga.
1:55p Thompson Center 50 Cal Omega
2:00p KAWASAKI PRARIE 360 4X4 ATV (Automatic)-COLOR
2:05p Kimber Pro Carry ll / Night Sights 45 ACP
2:10p Marlin 917 VLS 17 HMR
2:15p Remington 7600 Pump Action Rifle
2:20p Henry Golden Boy 22LR
2:25p Ruger SR9 9mm
2:30p Smith & Wesson 317 Air Lite 22LR
2:35p Remington 715 Youth 243 Cal. 3x9x40mm Bushnell
2:40p Winchester Wild Cat Bolt 22 Rifle
2:45p Ruger M77 Compact Mag .300 or RCM .338 (New '08)
2:50p Browning BPS Rifled Deer New Camo Break-up
2:55p Savage 17HMR Stainless Thumb Hole
3:00p KAWASAKI PRARIE 360 4X4 ATV (Automatic)-COLOR
3:05p Henry Boy Scouts 10th Anniversary Lever Action 22 (New '08)
3:10p Ruger KP95 PR 9mm Pistol
3:15p Remington 870 Wingmaster 410 Ga.
3:20p Mossberg Tactical Turkey Hunting Series
3:25p Ruger 50th Anniversary engraved Bearcat 22 Re (New '08)
Time Prize
3:30p Mossberg 535 Combo 22in. & 24in. bbl
3:35p Weatherby Vanguard Back Country
3:40p Thompson Center Fire Storm 50 Cal. (New '08)
3:45p Ruger New Vaquero 45 Colt
3:50p Browning T-Bolt 22LR
3:55p Taurus 605 357 Mag
4:00p $5,000 Cash
4:05p Mossberg 4X4 Bolt Action Rifle Scope Combo (New '08)
4:10p Steoger Hunting O/U 12ga Steoger
4:15p Ruger M77 Mark ll Ultra Lite Stainless 204 Cal.
4:20p Henry Golden Boy 17 HMR
4:25p Springfield X-Treme Duty 9mm 4
4:30p Ruger M77 Compact Mag .300 or RCM .338 (New '08)
4:35p Benelli Nova Camo 12ga. 3.5
4:40p Ruger M77 Mark 1l 308 Cal.
4:45p Browning NWTF Turkey Gun 12ga. 3 in. & 3.5 in.
4:50p Remington 700 SPS Varmint Choice of Cal.
4:55p Mossberg All Terrain Rifle Choice of Cal. (New '08)
5:00p KAWASAKI PRARIE 360 4X4 ATV (Automatic)-COLOR
5:05p Savage Series 10 Predator Hunter 223cal. or 22-250 Cal.
5:10p Texas Defender Bond Arms 44 Mag
5:15p Mossberg Tactical Turkey Hunting Series
5:20p Marlin 1895 Cowboy 4570
5:25p Glock 23 40 S&W
5:30p Thompson Center 50 Cal Omega
5:35p Weatherby SA-08 Upland 12 Ga (New '08)
5:40p Remington 572 BDL Deluxe 22LR
5:45p Tikka T3 Hunter Choice of Cal.
5:50p Smith & Wesson 637 38 Special Air Weight
5:55p Remington 870 Super Mag Duck Blind Camo (New '08)
6:00p KAWASAKI PRARIE 360 4X4 ATV (Automatic)-CAMO
6:05p 257 Weatherby Vanguard Sporter Blued bbl
6:10p Thompson Center Pro Hunter SS Choice of bbl
6:15p Remington 870 Max Gobbler
6:20p Marlin XLR Rifled 308 Marlin Express
6:25p Benelli Nova 20ga 3 Real Tree APG (HD) (New '08)
6:30p Browning BL-22 Grade ll 22LR
6:35p New England Fire Arms Ultra Varmint 223 Cal.
6:40p Kimber KPD 40Cal Black Polymer
6:45p Thompson Center Icon 308 Rifle Hi Grade (New '08)
6:50p Weatherby Vangaurd Sub-Moa Mattle Standard Cal
6:55p Remington Model 7 25th Anniversary 7mm-08 (New '08)
7:00p $10,000 Cash

Each ticket has TWO chances to win!

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September 19, 2008


It be international talk like a pirate day Matey's! Get your swash-buckled or walk the plank.

My pirate name is:
Iron Mary Vane
A pirate's life isn't easy; it takes a tough person. That's okay with you, though, since you a tough person. You tend to blend into the background occaisionally, but that's okay, because it's much easier to sneak up on people and disembowel them that way. Arr!
Get your own pirate name from
part of the network

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September 17, 2008


I was reminiscing the other day about 1990 a year in which I was enjoying looking 18, though not quite there - if you know what I mean. When I close my eyes I see myself as that teen girl, getting whatever she wanted, doing whatever she wanted and not caring about consequences. I wonder where that spark for life went. Byegones . . .

I had a boyfriend then or there about if you could call him that. He was more than a boyfriend really or maybe less a boyfriend more a friend my first true love and my first true heartbreak anyway, he was my off and on for many years my f*&k buddy as it were. To this day, I consider him my oldest friend.

Lets call him Hair or Starshine, which is what I called him and still sometimes do. I was going through a Hair the musical phase and well the nicknames fit him. His hair was nearly as long as mine! That and since I picked him up or woke him up for school most mornings by singing Good Morning Starshine . . . the names were tailor-made.

Anyway, I was thinking about 1990 which made me start thinking about him. There were surprisingly few days for years that we spent time apart. Seriously, we were together EVERY SINGLE DAY for several years. The only time we were not together was when I went on vacation or he went to his dads. I remember one summer especially, where I spent a lot of time in Eastern Shore Maryland. I remember coming home that summer with a really silly gift for him (a plane made out of Bud cans) only to find out hed decided to start dating a new girl. Unluckily for her, he liked me better . . . *snicker* and we picked up where we left off poor girl.

So, I was thinking of him and how I would run to him as my standard. We werent exclusive, hell we never even admitted to being a couple save for sophomore year in high school and a brief few weeks in junior high. Yet, he was my standard, my constant, my best friend. I held his hair when he puked, hed hold mine . . . you get the picture.

Despite dating or just casually screwing other people (we were in high school in the boonies, there was nothing else to do), we were together nearly every single day during high school. It was not unusual that I would turn to him when I was lonely or turn to him when I was crazy. So, as an adult I wonder, why it feels unusual that I turn to him still? Not physically not now, we are different people now. No, I turn to him emotionally though in a less obvious way, I still turn to him or rather I think of him when I am in a spot. In fact, Id avoided emailing or calling him until very recently, despite all the issues weve had lately. I broke down and called him (we usually only chat by email). It was like jumping into a wayback machine and turning it to 1990.

His voice is exactly the same. He still makes me laugh and I could close my eyes and remember walking arm-in-arm with him down the biology hall in high school with the biology teacher calling me Mrs. *Hair* and me rolling my eyes. I never wonder what if because I know if we stayed together we would have killed each other we would have seriously hurt one another. No, I never wonder what if with him. But I still hold a place for him in my heart, and I like to think I hold a place in his if only as the annoyingly persistent, yet constant force of nature from his teen years.

He continues to be a source of amusement for me. We email, talk dirty, discuss our children, say naughty things, discuss our spouses, say mean things, and in the end we are still dear friends.

Ive often wondered if it is wrong that I still love him or rather the thought of him as he was in 1990. I wonder whether the sands of time have stayed still in my mind too long. I wonder if he remembers what he wrote in my high school year book or if hed forgotten that Kansas Concert. I wonder whether the footprints we left on the beach at the lake those many years ago remain, whether our laughter still hangs in the air at the old trailer park. I wonder whether when he hears Clapton or Ozzy, he remembers sitting around a crowded smokey table singing Layla or If I Close My Eyes Forever in rounds. I wonder if he drinks bourbon on the rocks out of an ice-tea glass in my memory or if when he watches episodes of As the World Turns, he thinks of me. And then I smile. A big broad smile, because I cant forget. I havent forgotten late nights, guitars and beer. I havent forgotten getting kicked out by his mom, getting sick in the big tub or fights in the parking lot with rivals. I havent forgotten school mornings, chocolate chip cookies in the afternoon or Dairy Queen the only time he ever paid . . . I havent forgotten phone calls made from a payphone at the beach, or impromptu band practice at my house. I havent forgotten detention during sex ed because our notes made the teacher blush.

I can remember snippets of conversations - or arguments - I remember what some friends wore then, i can remember the exact things we said, the exact song playing and why I was crying when we drove home from the Clapton concert. I remember the truly sad and heartfelt conversation we had right after a family funeral and a visit to his wacky aunt's. I remember learning to play Euker (I can't play now). I remember curling up on the couch with him after school, while his flavor of the month got pissed off (I dont remember any of their names). I remember getting alcohol poisoning - from booze he bought me - on my 16th birthday and sleeping in his sister's tub. I remember all of that like it was yesterday. But I can't remember what I did last week.

I havent forgotten ball practices, walking to Eriksons for ice cream, cards or trivial pursuit and much, much more. I bet he has. I havent forgotten because some small part of me believe me a very, very, very small part of me wishes those days never ended. Days when I felt like I belonged for the first time ever. Though Id never ever want to be a teen again, some part of me misses the freedom. Reality, however, grounds me. Reality, with a little paranoia mixed in for good measure. Im ok with who Ive become, but my life and experiences were in part shaped by him and for that I thank him, until I reminisce again . . .

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September 15, 2008


So the remnants of Ike blew threw PA last night. Yes, thats right, PA. Wind gusts were 60-70 (up to 80 once or twice) miles per hour (nothing compared to a full-blown hurricane but heavy none-the-less). Trees, debris and property were blown all over. Of course, with wind like that, we have outages.

Our outage happened at 8:45 last night. We still have no power and wont until approx. 11 p.m. tonight. Unfortunately, some idiot in my household left my freezer door open so we also have no food . . . byegones.

As a firefighter, I respond to outages, downed wires and down trees. Last night was no exception. At 8:45, I responded to a tree down in my neighborhood which caused a transformer to explode and power to be lost. The arcing of the lines drew me to the firehall before our siren went off. Then the transformer exploded.

I blocked off the very busy road at 8:50 p.m. and there I stood until 8:30 a.m. To say I am tired is an understatement. Im obliterated. However, because we have no power and consequently no school, I am obliterated, with a hungry child.
Here we sit in McDonalds where the Wi-Fi is free and the fries are hot.

So, I stood in the wind and rain for nearly 12 hours last night with my flashing LED light, in my pajamas which I wore under my turnout gear (at least I remembered my bra) or at least under my jump pants and a road-cone vest listening to the Steelers win on the radio.

It was lonely and dark, and kinda cold and not everyone was kind. Of course neither was I. At one point, a man accosted me for holding him up. He said What the hell are you people doing? I have to get to work, I dont know how to get around! Where the Hell am I supposed to go missy?

My response? Sir, there are live wires laying on the road ahead and you cannot pass. I, however, did not personally place them there so that you would be late for work, indeed, I didnt have much to do with that tree that fell on the wires. Now, I can tell you how to get around this obstruction or I can tell you where to go, of course the choice is yours. He was not amused, he barked at me to tell him how to get around I gave him the really long way with lots of turns . . .

Anyway, I attempted to engage a couple people in texting, but alas, I was rebuffed. I guess that speaks volumes for my sad life. In fact, clearer still is the fact that my husband watched me walk out the door and told me not to touch live wires in a snide way, yet he had no idea at all that I was not home and never came home. HE DIDNT REALIZE I WASNT THERE!!!!! I feel incredibly appreciated and loved. Seriously, I feel so loved I could jump off a friggin bridge.

On a high note, my reputation as a Redneck Magnet is intact. While asking me for directions last night, a toothless redneck with a rebel flag tattoo on his forearm asked me for directions and also asked me if Id like to straddle his gear shifter what class, I am telling you! Seriously, he even remarked that I must be chilly as my highbeams were on and if I wanted to flash him, he was game . I blinked my led light at him, told him, my highbeams were most assuredly not on I checked, and if he didnt move along quickly I was going to drive my rig right over his sorry ass. He grinned a toothless grin and off he went I sent him the wrong way too . . .

Today? I smell like flares, exhaust and chew-spit since some asshole spit on me last night. Ive no power, no shower, I got 2.2 hours of sleep between the hours of 8:30 a.m. and 11, and I brushed my teeth using a bottle of water that I didnt finish last night. I am cranky, tired and getting indigestion as McDonalds is hell. I am utterly forgettable as far as my husband is concerned and I annoy the hell out of my friends to say I am not a happy camper today? Fucking understatement of the year. Now, excuse me while I drive a couple towns over to find a truckstop with a shower I am sure some "dirty" trucker would be more than happy to let me share :)

If you need me - I'll be in the corner with a cocktail - did I tell you? I've taken up drinking again - yay me.

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September 12, 2008


Everyone is doing it, why can't I? So, here is my "Finish the Sentence meme"

1. My uncle once: told me I was chunky - I told him "no, I'm fat, the doctor says I'm fat, so I'm fat." I was 3.

2. Never in my life: have I jumped out of a plane - but I would like to do so.

3. When I was five: I could read at a 4th grade level, didn't nap and could recite the Gettysburg Address - sadly, it all ended there.

4. High school was: uneventful for the most part - except, I am guessing, for that Air Force recruiter. *wink*

5. I will never forget: how my friends cared for me in my time of need- and if I haven't told you lately, thank you! I love you.

6. Once I met: Edward James Olmos - and he let me kiss him - I was 19 and for some reason a EJO groupie - must have been the Miami Vice years.

7. Theres this girl I know: who is like my twin (sometimes). She knows who she is.

8. Once, at a bar: I tongued the doorman - got the best seat in the house and free drinks for my girls and me all night and the next one too. - yes, I'm that good - why do you ask?

9. By noon, Im usually: looking for excuses to leave early.

10. Last night: I was on the phone for several hours.

11. If only I had: more patience, time and wisdom.

12. Next time I go to church: I won't wear the very low cut dress I wore last time when the wind was blowing and we were having church outside . . . byegones.

13. What worries me most: whether I am raising my son right and whether he will be a success in life. That and am I who I'm suppossed to be?

14. When I turn my head left I see: a pile of paper.

15. When I turn my head right I see: the Ohio River

16. You know Im lying when: I don't lie - often . . . But you wouldn't know it.

17. What I miss most about the Eighties is: the hair - I seriously rawked the mall rat doo.

18. If I were a character in Shakespeare Id be: Viola.

19. By this time next year: I should be Partner.

20. A better name for me would be: ...................Queen Oddy of the Kingdom of Oddyland - we welcome all kinds from the abnormally short to the abnormally tall - the only prerequisite is that liberals need not apply.

21. I have a hard time understanding: the principles of Six Sigma and statistics.

22. If I ever go back to school: it would be to become an English teacher.

23. You know I like you if: I speak to you - at all . . .

24. If I ever won an award, the first person(s) I would thank would be: my family and friends.

25. Take my advice: Seriously, I know what I am talking about.

26. My ideal breakfast is: bacon and fruit and cheese stuffed french toast.

27. A song I love but do not have is: Kid Rock's All Summer Long.

28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you: come and see me, I will cook for you. - What kind of pie do you like?

29. Why wont people: leave me alone, seriously, if my door is closed - go the f&*k away.

30. If you spend a night at my house: Expect to laugh a LOT and eat really really well - but Pee First.

31. Id stop my wedding so: I could help out a friend.

32. The world could do without: liberals.

33. Id rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: Cockroaches have bellies?.

34. My favourite blonde(s) : Richmond and her girls

35. Paper clips are more useful than: used kleenex.

36. If I do anything well its: cook for, feed, and take care of people - and make up ridiculous lyrics to the songs on the radio.

37. I cant help but: always be right - and slightly paranoid.

38. I usually cry: at stupid commercials, songs or shows in which I know the ending, but never in crisis - I'm a fucking rock!

39. My advice to my child/nephew/niece: remember to enjoy your life and the people in it. Always think of others. Don't pick your nose in public, and laugh. Laugh like you have never laughed - if you need help? Call Zonker.

40. And by the way: we should all find ways to laugh more. Especially when things get tough for us or our friends - and don't forget there are things worth fighting for and if you lose the fight? make a list . . . *wink*

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September 11, 2008


I remember.

What can I say that hasn't already been said - and likely more eloquently.

I remember, and I will continue to remember though many in this country and beyond would have you forget.

I remember, and because I remember vivdly, I can never forget.

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September 01, 2008


Look at me! I can knit - sorta. I am nothing if not consistent. My mistakes show up consistently, see the hole? that isn't the only one. Also, if you saw the scarf from the bottom you would see the shift where I added or lost a stitch ... Anyway. Here is my attempt at knitting a scarf. The yarn is Manos del Uruguay silk blend. The color is "Lava." It is so soft and yummy.

Anyway, I am attempting to make a scarf from it.

Here is the beginning, again, ignore the mistakes (and my bad focus on the photos). I only learned last weekend and I am trying.

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