April 26, 2006

One more confession

In addition to all my other "issues" I forgot to mention that I am allergic to alcohol.

Now, this doesn't stop me from drinking, it just makes for some interesting conversations. See, I get instantly red (think sunburn red) and blotchy all over after two sips. After two drinks my eyes start watering and itching, and I look full-on drunk. Cept I'm not.

Sometimes I get sick if I've had too much, more like respiratory issues and stomach cramps but it's hit or miss.

Here is the dilemma. I'm going to Austin to imbibe. But, with the heat being what it is in Texas, and the fact that I already suffer this dilemma, I probably won't imbibe much if at all.

See the problem worsens with heat. But, oh, who am I kidding . . .

So, see ya'll in Austin, I'll be the fat chick with the pseudo sunburn and the glassy eyes. . .

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April 25, 2006

Back when I was cute . . .

Stole this from Quality Weenie

Now, don't get the wrong idea about these answers, they can be explained, though I won't. . .

Taken a picture naked? : Yes
Made out with a member of the same sex? : Yes
Danced in front of your mirror? : Yes
Told a lie? : Yes
Gotten in a car with people you just met?: Yes
Been in a fist fight? : Yes
Had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? : Yes
Been arrested? : Yes
Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? : Yes
Seen someone die? : No
Kissed a picture? : Yes
Slept in until 3? : Yes
Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? : Yes
Played dress up? : Yes
Fallen asleep at work? : Yes
Had sex at work? : No
Felt an earthquake? : Yes
Touched a snake? : Yes
Ran a red light? : Yes
Been in a car accident? : Yes
Pole danced? : Yes
Been lost? : Yes
Sang karaoke? : Yes
Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? : Yes
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? : Yes
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? : Yes
Kissed in the rain? : Yes
Sang in the shower? : Yes
Got your tongue stuck to a pole? : No
Sat on a roof top? : Yes
Played chicken? : Yes
Raised chickens? : Yes
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? : Yes
Been told you’re hot by a complete stranger? : Yes
Broken a bone? : Yes
Mooned/flashed someone? : Yes
Forgotten someone’s name? : Yes
Slept naked? : Yes
Blacked out from drinking? : Yes
Played a prank on someone? : Yes
Felt like killing someone? : Yes
Made a parent cry? : Yes
Cried over someone? : Yes
Had sex more than 5 times in one day? : Yes - AND HOW!
Had/Have a dog? : Yes
Been in a band? : Yes
Drank 25 sodas in a day? : Yes
Shot a gun? : Yes

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April 24, 2006

Goin' To Austin!

Yep! On Friday I'm heading down to hook up with Bloggers from hither and yon for the Austin "Blown-Eyed Blodgers" blogmeet.

I can hardly wait!

I've a list of things to do before I go:

1.) Pedicure;
2.) Lose 50 pounds stat;
3.) Eat lots of bread to soak up any liquor consumed during the weekend . . .;
4.) pack!

Ok, look, I do have a dilemma. I'm fat. It is hot in Texas. Very hot. That requires minimalist clothing. Hence the dilemma. I'm fat.

No one, but no one, needs to see my fat white, tannless legs, nor my rolls of arm-fat, nor my fat thighs. Seriously! I'll look like a sweaty-out-of-place whale. "Fat-Bottom Girls" was actually written for me. Sorry, I don't paint a pretty picture. Alas, I know I must bust out the minimalist clothing I loathe. Ack!

But on the brighter side, I get to meet loads of fun peeps, converse with my dear friends and have a jolly-time overall. Whoo Hoo! (Rich, I'm rubbing it in just for you! *snicker*)

There is still time to jump on the bus so to speak. For those heading to Austin, I'll see ya there fat bottom and all!

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April 19, 2006

Easter 2006

Being the overachiever that I am, I host a blow-out Easter Egg Hunt every year. It keeps getting bigger folks. My nephew thinks I must own a store because I give away so much stuff, and I have kids in the neighborhood who want to know how to get on the waiting list for next year! So, here is a sampling of those who came this year:

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Notice all the eggs? Here is a money shot of the eggs!

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Well, I filled 450 eggs for the little scrappers and no one even got me a chocolate bunny. Next year I want a freakin chocolate bunny!

I'll tell ya, I didn't get this fat ass from abstaining from chocolate bunnies! (Can you tell I'm in need of chocolate??? Can you?)

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April 13, 2006

Celebrity Sightings!

I saw this at Sadie's and was intrigued! There is a tool where you can scan your photos to see which facial features you share with celebrities. It is the My Heritage face recognition analyzer, and it's free.

So, I scanned myself, my son and my husband (the fireman). I was hard cause i don't have any good pics of myself. So, I used a bad lawschool grad pic and I got 54% Zsa Zsa Gabor (the early years); 48% Gretchen Wilson; 45% Teri Hatcher and a few male asians - Interesting to say the least.

I did my baby who got these whoppers!
60% Keanu Reeves
49% Leslie Cheung (the asian in him)
52% Andy Roddick (yummy)
50% Josh Hartnett (yummy again!)

My husband - the fireman - has a really big nose, which accounts for some of the men on his list, but let me tell you, he's a looker!

72% Vin Diesel . . . (Oh my Heavens!)
61% Al Pacino
59% Richard Gere
55% Mickey Rourke
50% Jim Morrison
50% Ben Affleck

and this is weird . . . 62% John Cleese . . .Must be the nose and the long facial features . . .

Who do you resemble? Oh, am I a lucky girl or what?

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April 10, 2006

Body Count

Some reflections on my weekend:

What do you get when you are forced to work more than 14 plus hours a day for a week? A very tired lawyer who ran three red lights on the way to work and nearly killed herself.

What do you get when a running chainsaw makes contact with the face and neck of a deaf six year old? 200 much-needed stiches.

What do you get when a broken swing set meets the tender head of a two year old? 7 staples.

What do you get when a three year old's newest bestest friend gets on a plane for Japan? A very depressed baby boy.

Three absolute casualties, one near death experience . . . How was your weekend?

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April 04, 2006

Wanna Smile?

This is what makes me smile everyday. This is what gets me going and makes me wake up to the world. To see this face, this smile, makes all my stress just melt away. To hear his voice and to listen to his stories, makes life worth living.

This past weekend, I drove all the way to Virginia Beach so the Cuz could see his mom. It was beautiful. It was 78 degrees and sunny. So, I took the Boy to the Aquarium and to the Beach. He had a great time, and he made me smile!

I drove 1000 miles round trip to spend a few hours in the sun with the Boy, and all my stress and worry melted away. So, what do you do to destress?





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April 03, 2006

A Bad Example

Did you see? Harvey's Bad Example, just got badder!

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