Run to You

I've posted multiple times about Hair - my boyfriend in highschool - my oldest friend. We have kept in touch through the years, the trials, the tribulations, the births, the deaths. . .

Last night, I met him for drinks, the first time since my sister's death that I have seen him. I was waiting for him and chatted with a friend in the parking lot. As he strode up to me, I heard him say "can you go anywhere without seeing someone you know?" The answer to that is no. But folks, he and I haven't been in the same vicinity (not counting my sister's funeral) since 1994 . . . and yet? He still remembers that I can't go anywhere without seeing someone I know. (So much for getting a discreet drunk on)

But seriously, there are few people on this earth that I can pick up with after an extended time and just flow (they know who they are). We chatted about our families, our children, our jobs. We talked about recent trials and tribulations, and we talked about the past. Oh, and the beer was flowing.

The strangest conversation began after about the 4th beer.

See, I run to him whenever I need a shoulder. I don't walk, I run. When my folks split up (temporarily) in 1990, I quite literally ran the 3.5 miles to his house and holed up for days. When my grandad died in 1996, I called him from Philadelphia to tell him. He talked me through it, and was my comfort. When I got married (he didn't come) but his emails helped to talk me out of a tree. When I was stressing about finals, I emailed him. When I was stressing about law school, he calmed me down. When I had my baby, and the magnitude of the change in my life struck me for the first time sitting in my living room, a sleeping baby in my arms, an email from him filled with snarky comments about what was surely my new fat ass made me laugh and lightened the load. When my husband had his accident, I picked up the phone and called him (the first time in over 10 years) - and he listened. In May, when my sister died, he was one of the first people outside of my family that I texted and his immediate response was "How are you, and what do you need?" And now? now that I am facing being alone for the first time in my adult life - he was there, in person, with a firm hug and a friendly smile.

But last night, he recounted times he's run to me. I am ashamed to admit I never noticed. We have remained close friends despite barely speaking with each other, over the last 15 years and not seeing each other at all. He surprised me. He surprised me that he remembered very specific details about our 23 year friendship (I thought I was the only one) because of the impact I had on him.

He recounted the exact moment that he decided he loved me (5th grade folks). He recounted the exact moment that he decided he didn't (hahahaha - also 5th grade). He remembered all the same things I've recounted for you here before and I was surprised. I should not have been. But I was surprised. And then? He surprised me still. He is a musician at heart, and he writes songs. He started by encouraging me to write - songs, books, short stories. He didn't forget that I used to have a passion for it as a teenager. He even remembered one of my ill-conceived ideas nearly 20 years on. Oh and he wants me to sing and play again (though has no idea how bad I am at it now).

I'm still shocked. But then he paid me a great compliment. He told me that he has written a great many songs about me. Ha! No one has ever written anything about me (cept Perez Hilton - calling me a legal goon). I was both shocked and flattered. He said, what I have said for years - that when troubled - he runs to me and it comes out in his songs. And they are good, and sweet - and I had no idea, nor would I have guessed that they were about me (in part). I had been enjoying his music for quite a while - and he had to explain to me which songs - which lines were about me and why. Seriously shocked, but the reminiscing was fantastic. (Clapton concert, Kansas concert, Dylan concert, chocolate chip cookies, prom . . . the list was long and oh, so fun).

When he hits the big time, I'll point ya'll in his direction, but for now, I am just content to know that my 23 year friendship has not only spawned great memories, but great songs. And when next I need someone who has known my failings and flaws back to when I was 10, I know who to call. And I know, he'll come running with a cold beer and a warm hug, and some silly ditty about chasing fireflies in the trailer park in 1993 ;) hahahaha!

And I'll leave you with this snippet from Lady Antebellum's I Run To You:

This world keeps spinning faster
To a new disaster, so I run to you
I run to you, Baby

When it all starts coming undone
Baby, you're the only one I run to
I run to you