Corey Clark and Paula Abdul

Ewe. Did I say ewe? Corey Clark is like a mini-Michael Jackson. Or a Michael Jackson wannabe. He isn't even attractive. Ewe. He's the "can't sing but I need some bling" gigalo of 2005.

Paula Abdul is like a robot. Ewe. She'd sleep with Corey Clark after bedding Emilio? Ewe!

But, do cell phones lie? What happened to the "she was gonna pay me a cool 2 million to keep it quiet" I didn't see that on the "shocking"ly boring tell-all.

How about real details? Everyone knows Paula has dogs with silly girl names. Everyone, who is anyone has a jacuzzi with a tv over it, and hmmm, he couldn't even get it on in her master bedroom? Relagated to guess bedroom privileges only.

OK, so Corey Clark screws Paula Abdul on Primetime no less, EWE!

Ewe. Have I said that enough? Ewe. But the biggest Ewe? Randy Jackson in those electric blue, skin-tight rubber suits!