If I Could Be . . . Meme

Ok, so, hiding my email address wasn't enough because Ogre still tagged me with his silly meme. You know the drill, if I tag you then you have to answer at your place and tag three more, make sure you trackback to Ogre cause the Ogre's trying to keep track of his creation . . .

Here are my answers:

If I could be a gardner, I would build several acres of greenhouses and raise orchids. I am obsessed with orchids. Then I would sell them at outrageous prices and become a very wealthy gardner.

If I could be a farmer, I would wear my John Deere hat, while I drove my John Deere tractor and I would sing "John Deer Green", ah . . . I like green, its the color of money. Oh and I would plant rutabegas cause who plants those?

If I could be a doctor, I would find a cure for that itchy burning sensation the ailment that causes stupidity . . . you know the one. The ill that makes you pull out in front of me when I am doing 90 on my way to work, the ill that makes you utter that snide remark while I am fondling my glock. Yes, a cure for stupidity is necessary. Oh, and I'd make money doin it!

If I could be an athlete, I would be a professional stockcar driver. Fast cars, beer, screaming fans, beer, oh and money, lots and lots of money *said with Homeresque drool escaping mouth*.

If I could be a writer, I would actually take all the useless thoughts and stories that occupy my brain and put them to paper with magnificent prose. I would of course win awards and accolades, and I would also earn money, lots and lots of money. . . Hmm. Screw the jobs, just give me the money!

So here's how it works. Immediately following there is a list of 19 different occupations. You must select at least 5 of them (feel free to select more). You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select 5 of the items as it was passed to you). Each one begins with "If I could be..." Of the 5 you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession.

If I could be a scientist...
If I could be a farmer...
If I could be a musician...
If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter...
If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary...
If I could be a chef...
If I could be an architect...
If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a psychologist...
If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete...
If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be an innkeeper...
If I could be a professor...
If I could be a writer...
If I could be a llama-rider...
If I could be the oddybobo's maid. . .

I tag Tom the Pooklekufr (cause he is sweet and smart), Two Dogs (cause he's the Mean Ol' Meany) and VW of OneHappyDogSpeaks because outside of mine, her boys are just the cutest!