Make with the Funny for the New Marine

So, the Alliance has commanded that I make with some funnies, here goes:

First soldier: "Pass me the chocolate pudding, would you?"Second soldier: "No way, Jose!"First soldier: "Whyever not?"Second soldier: "It's against regulations to help another soldier to dessert!"

Someone sent this to me, but I can't remember who . . .
One Brave Man
General McKenzie was in charge of the Navy, and he was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army. McKenzie arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. As they both walk around the place, Gen. McKenzie asks, "So how are your men?"Gen. Marshall: "Very well trained sir."Gen. McKenzie: "I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could say that they're the bravest men in the country."Gen. Marshall: "Well, my men are very brave, too."Gen. McKenzie: "Well, I'd like to see just how brave you think they are."So Marshall calls private Cooper and says, "Private Cooper! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!""Are you f*&^%ing crazy? It would kill me, you a-hole! I'm out of here!" As private Cooper ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered McKenzie and said, "You see? You have to be pretty damn brave to talk like that to a general."

And last in my lame attempts at being funny:

What does ARMY mean?

Ain't Ready to be a Marine Yet!