Best Flight Ever

This weekend was fabulous! Great food, wonderful company and the best flight ever.

I just got back. Began with stimulating conversation in first class with Army Captain Bell. Damn! I could have chatted with him all day. He was just two days home from Iraq (tour two). He helped build the D.C. WWII memorial. Just a gorgeous man. He sat next to me as he was upgraded for free by the Airtran flight attendants in thanks for his service. I thanked him too. He was beautiful - if I wasn't a married woman . . . ahem . . . moving on . . .

Anyway, on Thursday I jetted off to the home of my asian-sister Christina to spend some time with her, Dash, the girls, MawMaw and with our translucent sister Richmond. These ladies and their families have become part of my family and it is always a joy to spend time with them. We were joined on Friday by Zonker (everyone knows I loves me some Zonker), who I think may somehow be related to me (there cannot possibly be two people on the planet with the same warped sense of humor . . . I digress). Joined by Christina's friend Susan and a new buddy Sherri, and not a finer group of people could be found anywhere in the State of Texas of that I am sure.

Can I just rub in for a second the fact that the food was phenomenal? Had I not forgotten my camera, I am sure I'd have photos - MawMaw and Christina know how to stuff a person to busting. My mouth is watering just thinking about the best fish tacos I've ever eaten - compliments of Dash and Wee One, and MawMaw's feasts which literally whisper (or scream) to all in attendance "eat me!" Not to be outdone - Twinkie introduced me to my new favorite dessert! "The Gods are smiling upon your kitchen adventures!"

And I made Mayhaw Jelly - eat your hearts out everyone! I was MawMaw's stir-fried stir girl for a day. I believe we made 30 plus jars of jellies. Yum!

But the real treat was sitting and enjoying time with my dearest friends - that and watching MawMaw chase Zonker around with a machete. Thank you again for inviting me into your home and sending me on my way with love and a new ability - I can knit! Ok, not really, but I promise to try! I have the best damn friends in the universe! Seriously. I count the days until I see you all again - may it be very soon as I miss you all already!

Now, on to the funny. I have a knack, a curious or perhaps disturbing knack for developing my own sign language to convey my utter lack of social skills and/or inner court jester. Now, most people simply disregard this quirk of mine as over compensating for a serious lack of intelligence - some may even walk away whispering that I have Touretts (BOB SAGET!!), but a few, nay one person has not only engaged this curious quirk but understands it at the same time. Yes, Zonker, I am talking about you.

Seems that Zonker causes this quirk of mine to increase exponentially - must be pheromones or something. That is to say, I speak to Zonker in code, one he pretends to understand (or simply indulges in order not to bruise my ego?) HEAHHHH! One which several terrified passengers on a flight from San Antonio to Atlanta got to experience first-hand. "No ma'am I've not had anything to drink, why do you ask?" Drunk or not, rest assured several people in first class think that they were being kind in allowing the mentally impaired individual in row three tag along - "you have a good time now!"

Needless to say, the flight from San Antonio to Atlanta was - - - THE BEST FLIGHT EVER! I have never ever laughed so hard. It took me a full two hours to finish my drink as I have a fear of things coming out of my nose. I laughed so hard that I was actually crying, real tears were flowing from my eyes. My sides were killing me, if I hadn't "peed first" I'd have peed my pants. We were delayed because of a weather-related full-ground stop in Atlanta so Zonk and I made the best of the extra hour or so, or rather, we tormented one another to tears. I have a new respect for the Zonker. ( and have added significantly to my paranoias).

One disappointment though was that Zonker was unable to answer several serious questions that I have about flying. First, I used the facilities because seriously - best advice ever? Pee First! So upon using said facilities I began to wonder, "Just how does one join the Mile High Club these days?" the facilities being extra small and first class having additional, immovable, central barriers . . . Alas, Zonk, tried but was unable to satisfactorily answer my questions, having never had the good fortune (I am guessing *snicker*) of joining the Mile High Club on an AirTran flight. It is a question that began to plague me - so I will throw it to you gentle readers. With the decrease in functional space on budget aircraft - including in first class - just how does one join the Mile High Club these days? Seriously, I am all about the creativitiy but could not find a suitable answer to my question. Byegones . . .

Despite all the delays, seat malfunctions, tormenting (and strange questions), Zonker, ever the gentleman, did not ditch me on his first opportunity but made sure that I didn't miss my connecting flight. He walked all over the Atlanta airport with me until we actually found my connecting flight and were assured it would be travelling to Pittsburgh in due course. Thank you to one of the kindest and funniest men I know! It was a delight to spend the weekend in your company, I hope to have the pleasure again very soon as I already miss your abnormally tall presence!