February 01, 2006

You might be a blueblood if . . .

I stole this one from Deathknyte at Bad Catholicism in order to show yet again that us rednecks reside well north of the Mason Dixon too!

Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them "you guys,"
(even if both of them are women)

Nope, been saying y'all my whole life. Mama thinks its cuz I was born in South Carolina.
Besides, here in the 'Burgh, they say yinz, blech!

You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."

Nope. Fortunately I have been exposed to real barbecue. I have been exposed to all kinds and love them all almost equally . . .

You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY.

Puhleeze! Heinz Ketchup is just Ketchup. You want SPICY? try kimchi!

You would never stop to buy something somebody was cooking on the side of the road. (e.g., boiled peanuts, pronounced "bald penis").

Would, and have. In fact, I love boiled peanuts!

You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.

I can, in fact, pronounce "woustershire" sauce correctly.

For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes-au-gratin to grits.

Here again it's a yes, but we call em "cheesy potatoes."

You never had and don't know what a moon pie is.

Made them for my kid last summer.

You've never, ever eaten okra -- fried, boiled, or pickled.

I have eaten okra -- fried, boiled, pickled, sauced, and even raw once.

You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.

Are you kidding me? Who eats fried chicken with a knife and fork unless they're trying to impress someone?

You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.

I have in the past raised both chickens and cows. . . oh, we named em and then we ate em!

You have no idea what a polecat is.

My place is infested with the little bastards.

You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on your dog.

My dog would eat you if you tried to dress her.

You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than at Six Flags.

I would rather eat dirt than visit either place.

You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.

My son would be more comfortable with a fishing show.

You drink either "Pop" or "Soda"- instead of "Cokes."

Pop. I drink pop. But I occassionally call it soda from 10 years in Philadelphia.

You've never eaten and don't know how to make a tomato sandwich.

I have, but I hate tomatoes so I didn't like it. I have also eaten tomato pie, fried green tomatoes and tomato jam.

You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-'n-knife show.

No, no I haven't - but I wouldn't mind. I am looking for an old Henry Repeating .22 long lever action sold at Sears back in the day - for my boy.

You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.

Hell no! They get enough money from snooty bluebloods! ;-)

You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.

Not feed stores, but tractor supply and also tractors . . .

You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping.

I don't spit out the car window, usually. And the Husband uses a cup or coke bottle.

You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e., Joe Bob, Faye Ellen , Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice)

I do. I know many, in fact, I am one of them, but we don't advertise it!

You don't know any women with male names (i.e., Tommie, Bobbie, Johnnie, Jimmie)

I know some Billies and some Tommies.

You don't have Maw-maw's & Paw-paw's.

I don't cause they are dead. But my son refers to my parents as "maw-maw and paw-paw"

You've never been to a craft show.

I have. In fact, there is one coming up soon . . .

None of your fur coats are homemade.

I don't wear fur coats.

You have no idea who the Allisons, Pettys or Earnhardts are.

I know who they are. I am not on a first name basis with any of them, but I did once meet Bobby Allison and got my picture taken with him and Elliot Sadler!

Well, that seals it. I am officially not a blue blood. While I answered in the affirmative to a couple of the above questions, I am quite positively a redneck. Whoop!

Check out the rest of the family:

basil's blog
Cranky Neocon
Dangerous Logic
Agent Bedhead
It Is What It Is
Mean Ol' Meany
Merri Musings
MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy
Riehl World View
Six Meat Buffet
The Ebb & Flow Institute
The Jawa Report
The Nose On Your Face
The Therapist
Vince Aut Morire
Feisty Republican Whore

Posted by Oddybobo at February 1, 2006 04:11 PM | TrackBack

I must not fit into either catagory, because some of these don't apply to me one way or another.

Posted by: Contagion at February 1, 2006 09:18 AM

I, being from far west Texas, first experienced grits at summer camp in Louisiana. My first thought was, "This is the most bland oatmeal I've ever eaten." I was back in Louisiana this past week. Despite my not ordering grits at the Waffle House (seems they come with the eggs regardless), I was again treated to this tasteless Southern delicacy -- and sure enough, even after forty years of opporunity to improve them, grits still taste like Elmers glue.

Posted by: Bob at February 1, 2006 11:05 AM

Thanks for this. We all need smiles and laughter during our day.

Hope your sister's doing okay.

Posted by: Michele at February 1, 2006 11:27 AM

I'm right there with you.

Posted by: vw bug at February 1, 2006 01:07 PM

Some apply while others do not...Of course I was raised in Kansas, which is about as hick as it gets...

Posted by: ktreva at February 1, 2006 09:35 PM


What's wrong with eating dirt? Can't I visit Six Flags AND eat dirt?

Posted by: Ogre at February 2, 2006 07:06 AM

I am definitely NOT a blueblood. :D

Posted by: pam at February 2, 2006 08:15 AM

"You never had and don't know what a moon pie is.

Made them for my kid last summer."

Yes, but did you make them with bits of real moon? :-)

Posted by: Harvey at February 2, 2006 04:51 PM