December 19, 2006

The Christmas Letter

I had a discussion with a friend last night about the infamous "Christmas Letter". I explained to her that I don't write them. The number one reason I don't write them is this: If you are on my Christmas card list - I love you and you and I speak enough or you know enough about me that you know some of what is happening in my life. So, no need for the Christmas Letter.

Besides I find some Christmas Letters to be outstandingly pretentious or so sad and depressing that I'd like to put my head in the oven after reading them. But, because I'm such a cynical gal, here is the sad and depressing yet slightly pretentious letter I'd send if I sent such things . . .

Dear Family and Friends,

2006 has been a year of changes. Not all of them good ones. My firm was bought by a larger firm, so we wait on the edges of our seats to find out if we still have jobs at the end of the year. On the plus side, I'm working 60-70 hour weeks . . . wait . . . that was the plus side?

The hubby got his raise and a sizable bonus for the year! Of course, we used the bonus to pay off some of the bills that have been quietly nipping at our heels. Then again, with Christmas a blink away, we've replaced those old bills with new ones . . . to ever get ahead *sigh*

The Boy is doing wonderfully. He took me Christmas shopping and declared that he absolutely must buy his daddy a spatula - cause Spongebob had his own - so too should daddy. Later he told me I should get a new purse for Christmas - cause mine "sucks and should be thrown in the trash." My they grow up fast. He and I made sugar cookies on Saturday and had a very nice time! He has become so independent I sometimes wonder where I fit into his life, then out of the blue he'll shout - "Mama! Let's watch tv and snuggle!" I love him.

On the rest o' the family front - my sister has disowned us because my parents finally saw the light and cut her off financially. So, to punish us, she has stated that we are not allowed to see my nephew. The ex-husband of hers disagrees and I have the nephew now and then. We have our fingers crossed that we get him for Christmas. My parents, to punish her, throw "the money they would have spent on her" at complete strangers . . . somehow I'm not seeing the point.

I bought myself a new quad (more bills). I couldn't resist. It was a good deal too. Of course, I bailed off it going down a mighty steep hill and my knee still isn't 100%. Byegones.

The cousin is staying with us for a time, but I think she plans on returning to her old life shortly. She is bored with country life. I can only do so much.

I have a sister in law who doesn't know who Napoleon is. Her question to me? Head cocked to one side, was, "is that like the ice cream?" Heh.

Oh, and one last thing - yesterday my computer crashed at work. Total blow-up. I lost three years of stuff you aren't supposed to put on work computers!

Sorry if I've bored you with the happenings in my life, but Merry Christmas!

Much love, Oddy.

See what I mean? No one wants to get a Christmas Letter from me, trust me. Hell, I threw up a little in my mouth just writing it! *snicker*

Have a very Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you get everything you want, and if that isn't in the cards - I hope you've family that loves you - holding your hand!

Posted by Oddybobo at December 19, 2006 08:53 AM | TrackBack

Great Christmas letter!

Posted by: Kurt at December 19, 2006 09:04 AM

Oddy, thaqt was funny..

I do not do a "letter" either...for the same reasons as you..

last night I opened one sent by a relative, in which I was informed she reads my blog, and she finds me "earthy"...

wtf is that..

oh and get yourself a new purse.

Posted by: armywifetoddlermom at December 19, 2006 09:11 AM

I don't write them, and I don't even like to get them. And no, it's not because I hate people (even though I do), it's because when you get one of those addressed to "Family and Friends" it seems way too impersonal to me. And no, it doesn't count if they figured out how to use mail merge to put my name up there, either.

Posted by: Ogre at December 19, 2006 10:25 AM

"like the ice cream?"

ROFLMAO - that's great.

Posted by: Teresa at December 19, 2006 11:18 AM

I do a Christmas letter, but keep it short, sweet and on the cherry side ...

well expect this years letter went something like this ...

Had a job, quit to take a new job, got layed off from that job, 2 months unemployed, got new job, got layed off from that job, more unemployment .. end of year...

Posted by: Quality Weenie at December 19, 2006 12:22 PM

LOL! As for the purse, my daughter said she wanted to get me a new coat for Christmas because I look like a homeless person. Hey, I LIKE my coat. It's comfortable, clean, and in good repair. It's three years old so it's not even way out of style.

As for the letter. Me neither. I'm not a writer. Just ask my mother. In my entire life I have only sent her two letters. I'm such a putz. I figure that the old saying about "It is better to be THOUGHT an idiot, than to open your mouth and PROVE it." was written for me. So no Christmas Letter for me either.

Happy Holidays

Posted by: Lemon Stand at December 19, 2006 12:59 PM

No letters here, either. If we did, they'd all go out to our attorneys, 'cause the only notable news has been on the many lawsuits we have been juggling due to our ex-es and greedy bastards who sued us for a traffic accident caused by someone else (who was not as well-insured as we were - hence the motivation for that one. "Dismissed." Yeah!)

Hmmm... That's seven attorneys in two states for three legal matters. One of them is using our legal fees to send his daughter to College in Australia. *I've* never been to Australia, dammit!

Posted by: Bitterroot at December 19, 2006 03:16 PM

*Ahem* (Mrs. Who is laughing at me right now...)

Oddy: No room for head-hanging - on your part anyway... Hope you didn't take offense - I certainly apologize if that's how I came-off. ALL of the rage is aimed where it belongs - the idiot parties involved - NOT their counsel!

(Although I'd still like to have seen Austrailia before my money did!)

*sheepish grin*

Posted by: Bitterroot at December 19, 2006 05:55 PM

Hey, I'd like a letter with more stories about that sister-in-law.

Posted by: Roses at December 19, 2006 08:59 PM

I like getting the letters because there are some friends I literally do not see for years. Do I send them? Naa... that requires work. Though I must say yours made me laugh and most don't do that. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and holiday time. Send me some cookies ok????

Posted by: vw bug at December 20, 2006 09:24 AM