Redneck Wedding

I was going to wait until later to post this, but seriously, y'all will not believe what I did on Friday night!

Have you ever seen CMT's My Big Redneck Wedding? No? Check out some of the episodes. It will make you chuckle.

Let me set the stage:

A member of our fire department was getting married and had an interesting idea for a wedding. He and his girl would get hitched at a mud-bogging competition. Yes, that is right, I said mud-bogging. Don't know what that is? Well, it is where you take a four-wheeled, preferably a four-wheel drive vehicle and you drive it through mud pits, mud holes, mud puddles, over hills, over rocks, through ditches, through ravines and through obstacles - - - for fun. Yes, we in podunk Pa find playing in mud a pleasurable past-time.

As it so happens, the idea was one that struck the fancy of the CMT producers of the My Big Redneck Wedding program. On Friday, yours truly was part of the crew that brought the bride to the mud - so to speak. I also sat front row for the actual wedding which took place on the back of a flatbed truck - designated the "Git 'R Done Chapel." (I may actually be on CMT, I hope none of my clients deign to watch). Immediately proceeding the vows, bride and groom jumped into said mudpit - (the bride wore a gown) - and then into a truck to fly through the mud pit as one does at a mud-bogging competition.

The wedding cake was blown up (small explosives were used), the food consisted of cold fried chicken, cold BBQ chicken, ham barbeque - a staple at redneck events in Western PA, beans, potato salad and macaroni salad - No grits, this is yankee country afterall.

Following a very unsafe and impromptu fireworks show (read, they lit them off with cigarettes) I went home. Ahh home, the place I shall never cop to being from again once this show airs.

Believe it or not, CMT producers declared my small town "the most redneck town they'd ever been in." Now, I believe they were simply trying to point out how "small-town" we are, and not that we truly are the most redneck town - (I have seen the other episodes, so I don't believe them.) But seriously, I've told y'all I'm redneck, now you get to see it in living color! Tune in to the first episode of Season 2 of the show (I think not until January) and you can all see for yourself.

Oh, one more thing, my buddy - we call him Twinkie, was driving the firetruck - he was wearing a "boobies make me smile" t-shirt and it was filmed . . .

Oh, one more, one more thing . . . I learned a new knock-knock joke at said wedding: I was asked to place my forehead against the forehead of a guy who said "knock-knock" I said "who's there" he said "Emerson" . . . "Emerson who" and with all the enunciation of a true Yinzer he said "Emerson nice tits you got there . . . " and of course I said "Thank you." :-)