Unhealthy Response

Ok. It is certainly no secret to those who know me that I often have unnatural and/or unhealthy responses to situations and issues and actions. What I am about to tell you is no exception.

I've not adequately dealt with the stress I've been under since July of last year. There. I admit it. My diet of pretzels and diet coke (and m&m's) hasn't exactly been healthy, my lack of normal sleep patterns doesn't contribute in a favorable way . . .

So I escape. Not with drugs (except vodka) . . . though seriously? not a bad idea sometimes . . .

I escape into a world of make believe, books, tv, movies, Facebook, knitting, music . . . When I escape I want to be left completely alone (with the Boy as the only exception). Yet, invariably, the person from whom I wish to escape will talk to me during my escape. When this person does so, I want to rip his vocal chords out through his neck and/or kill myself with an acupuncture needle.

Unhealthy? Yes. But you have no idea. I literally can feel the anger build the more he speaks - a slow boil. I can feel my eyes turn that evil red that cartoon characters get when they are about to do something evil. The hairs on my arms stand up and I can feel my stomach start to churn. I want to scream or run away or break things simultaneously.

So, I have decided, I am need of a mental health vacation - or perhaps a 72 hour commitment. . . either way, I think I'll check out for a while. Things are slow here anyway . . . few of you stop by. Perhaps I'll go run nekkid through the snow or play chicken with a train . . . maybe I'll just curl up in the fetal position under this here desk rocking back and forth and mumbling about privilege and documents and legal briefs . . . :)

On a completely different note . . . the "I am ninja" song from Ask a Ninja is my new ringtone! Wheee!

I will leave you with my new favorite song . . . Enough is Enough by the Eli Young Band (don't read anything into it . . . I just love it . . .)

Another empy promise, Good intentions from the start,
You failed to mention, Our love would be this hard,
I'm tired of talkin', Don't have nothing left to say,
Maybe sometime we'll sift through the ashes one day

I can't lean on you,
I can't count on you,
Yeah, I see we're through,
Yeah, Enough is enough