April 02, 2009

Room Mother

Rant on . . .

Can I tell you how much I HATE the PTO moms? Seriously. (If you are a PTO mom and I know you? - this doesn't include you.)

I hate school fundraisers. The products are crap. The prices are unreasonably expensive and they do them two and three times a year.

My son is in Kindergarten as you all well know. He had a fall fundraiser in which I grudgingly participated. He also has had a spring fundraiser.

With the spring fundraiser of crap they sent home a glossy folder with all the "prizes" you can win for selling.

Well, there was much whining and gnashing of teeth. "We have to sell this many to get this toy . . . etc . . . etc . . ."

Did I mention he is in Kindergarten? Thus all about the toys? Well. I was not happy to say the very least. I refuse to be a salesperson for my child's school. He goes to public school. I will not take that crap into the office and try to sell it. So, I will buy what is necessary myself. Of course, that number gets inflated as the glossy color photo spread of "prizes" is waived about.

Let's just say that my temper got the best of me and I wrote a "note" to the PTO regarding the crap they want me to sell for my child - because again, he is in Kindergarten and there will be no door to door sales in bum-f&cked egypt where we live.

The "note" reiterated my disgust at the crap they send home. I, oh so gently, suggested where they could stick it. In addition, I suggested they tell me how much they need from my kid for the stuff the PTO supplies. . . you know . . . my share. I'll gladly pay my kid's share and a couple other kid's shares. They'd get all the money instead of just a portion and I don't have to sell crap.

They will look into the opt-out for next year - I am told.

So, today was pick-up day. I got three hours of sleep last night . . . you know where this is going? I pick up my crap only to learn that the glossy prize folder? didn't apply to sales of candy - only to sales of the junk. What did we buy? Candy. So, at 8:45 a.m. I had a crying 6 year old wondering why . . . if mommy bought so much candy . . . all he got was a fucking balloon?

So! Being ever considerate and polite, I asked the fucking twit working in the PTO room that very question. Her curt and annoyed reply was - "sales of candy did not apply"

BUT WAIT ONE COCK-SUCKING MINUTE! They didn't tell us that . . . it wasn't in the materials, it wasn't on the letter home . . . it wasn't on the folder with the glossy pictures of cheap-ass prizes my little one was yearning to "earn."

So I told them again where they could stick it and I told them to make note of my name. If my kid gets this crap sent home with him again, I will see to it that my dog shits in their front yard.

Had I not been holding the hand of my crying 6 year old and a box of candy that didn't "earn" him anything . . . I'd have punched the hole who told me "your son did earn something - he gets assemblies and weekly readers and field trips . . ." Seriously, I would have punched her. I would have made sure to show her how far up her ass she could stuff her weekly readers.

Ok. Rant off.

Posted by Oddybobo at April 2, 2009 01:33 PM | TrackBack

Oh, I hate that stuff... crap that the dollar store wouldn't even sell for .50 the kids are supposed to shill for $25!

My heart breaks for the bright eyed boy... It sucks to have school crush your dreams in Kindergarten!

But I know you made it alright for him. {Hugs} to you both!

Posted by: Pam at April 2, 2009 03:38 PM

But was it GOOD candy?


Posted by: Harvey at April 3, 2009 12:56 AM

the best thing our school ever did was the 'fun run' fund raiser... you pay for the number of laps the kids do on the field. It is well set up, they made it fun for the kids to keep going... it was easy to keep track of the laps the did... http://www.funrun.com/ you might 'suggest' this to them instead of the crap they send home. Trust me, I refuse to sell it as well... but this was one thing I let my son call his grandparents and relatives on.

Posted by: vw bug at April 3, 2009 02:56 PM

When I was growing up, I hated participating in those fund raiser things. I lived in a trailer park that my family owned, so I knew everyone when I had to go door to door. I'd traipse through the park knocking on all 71 trailers. It was embarrassing and awkward. Some felt obligated to buy from me because I was the owner's daughter. But mostly I got a solid "No Thanks!" Arg!

Eventually, my parents did what you did, and just bought all the stuff. And, as you said, it was always crappy stuff.

So I feel your pain and empathize completely.

Posted by: DogsDontPurr at April 3, 2009 05:40 PM

i love you girl.

Posted by: caltechgirl at April 3, 2009 05:52 PM

Major pet peeve of mine in public schools! At the end of the day, what this actually is, is companies using children as their sales force. I will not - this practice sucks and everybody knows it! I personally buy whatever the min number is for the kid to get whatever the lowest level prize is (usually 2 items, I buy the cheapest) so they are not left out on prize day (sucks, sucks,sucks). I talk to my kids the day they bring the stuff home to explain what is going on and no they will not win the bike or radio. Usually followed by "you already have a bike, and a radio, better than these!" I do not buy from kids who come to my door. By now most know this. If I buy from one, I have to buy from all 20. I don't send my kid through the neighborhood and I owe them nothing. Of course I solved the whole issue when I decided to homeschool my kids. End of problem. However, when one neighbor's kid wanted to raise money for camp by selling home baked bread? I was in big!

Posted by: patti at April 4, 2009 08:14 AM

Good for you! Those fund drives were always a major pain in the ass. May as well face up to it early and pony up for the crap up front. You always end up doing it anyway.

What is your estimate of how far she could stuff them?

Posted by: Cappy at April 4, 2009 02:32 PM

Our principal HATES those fundraisers. So... we don't do them. He refuses. Thankfully.

Posted by: Bou at April 4, 2009 06:58 PM

Speaking as a teacher...I hate them too. Some parents can't afford to buy the crap, and their kids don't get 'any' prizes.

When I do get the 'prizes', I slip it into the kids' backpacks when they're at PE or Music or something...I do not make it a big deal in front of everyone.

It's such a waste of time and money.

Posted by: Mrs. Who at April 5, 2009 05:50 PM

I hated doing these things as a kid, and I don't want to put my kid through it either. The most we've done is sell to the immediate family.

Posted by: Contagion at April 7, 2009 03:00 PM


Posted by: JihadGene at April 8, 2009 11:58 AM