December 21, 2009

Sands of Time, Winds of Change

To anyone who knows me - that is for those of you from blog land who have become my friends, my family . . . you all know this has been a truly difficult couple years. I often find myself waking wondering what the hell happened to my life, only to be greeted with a wonderful, heartfelt and lovely email or message from one of you.

You have no idea how truly blessed I feel to have friends like you. A few of you already know it - or at least I hope that you know it. If you are reading this and thinking - she might be talking about me - then I am. ;)

As you know this year brought the loss of my sister, my husband and the family dynamic I've lived for 16 years. I've struggled to come to terms with the fact that the plan, the map I'd laid out for myself, is no longer in the cards. And I'm finally ok with that.

There's a quote I always liked : "Having a sister is like having a best friend you can't get rid of. You know whatever you do, they'll still be there." ~Amy Li Except she isn't. I've not really been whole since. We were not the closest of sisters but she was still my sister. The only other person on earth cut from the same cloth. It's been rough.

I'm hoping that with the new year I find some confidence, some understanding, and some closer proximity to some of my loved ones and friends - yes, that means I may be traveling to see you soon! ;)

I must say, that the one thing that has kept me sane is my son. He is a beautiful, loving and sweet child. Watching him pick out Christmas gifts for people this year has been wonderful. He spends his own money, money he has earned from me or from his grandma, money that he counts daily. He shops with a specific goal in mind. For a dear friend who likes to fish, he spent 20 minutes in the lures aisle until he got what he thought was just right. Then, he spent time looking at books, dvd's and cd's to get just what his cousin might want. Don't even go to the toy aisle with that boy as he is wild and crazy there. He is so thoughtful. It is clear that he has listened to what people want or like and he gets them just what they would appreciate. (He got me snowman socks-which i am not supposed to know) because I LOVE LOVE LOVE snowmen and socks! See? sweet. This year has been tough for me, but absolutely devastating for him. I ache because of it.

My nephew lost his mom, my son lost his aunt and is estranged for the most part from his dad. We have friends who have lost jobs etc. . . So my mom - being my mom - thought that it would be a good time to take the kids in a limo to see the Christmas Carol in 3D. It was a while back, but we had a very good time. And believe it or not, it was just what those boys needed to pick them up for the afternoon. For a day, those boys were not missing anything, just for a day, they felt high and important and loved. . . . and isn't that what we are supposed to do for them? Make them feel loved?

Anyway, we call these: "this is how we roll" and "this is why we hawt." My nephew is the dark haired boy in the middle. My boy is the goofy one next to the tallest boy - of course my boy has snacks! Oh, and for some reason, my boy looks very Asian in the second picture-very Asian gangsta. :)

this is how we roll.jpg

this is why we hawt.jpg

And since it is Christmas - here is my tree. We hope you have a very Merry Christmas. We are using this holiday to erase some pain and start anew.

Posted by Oddybobo at December 21, 2009 12:04 PM | TrackBack

Merry Christmas, doll!

May the new year bring personal riches and great peace for us all.

; )

Posted by: Christina at December 21, 2009 04:06 PM

As hard as it can be to see, the blessings are there. Your son is a great kid. Merry Christmas and may you find what you need in the new year.

Posted by: Mrs. Who at December 21, 2009 04:22 PM

Merry Christmas to you and the sweetest boy on earth!


Posted by: Pam at December 21, 2009 04:44 PM

Happiest of holidays. It is what you make it and it looks like you are making it a blast!

Posted by: vw bug at December 22, 2009 07:05 AM

So good to see... May the New Year be filled with continued strength, grace and joy. We may never meet, but you and your son are always in my prayers.

Posted by: jck at December 22, 2009 12:13 PM

Merry Christmas to you and yours. May the New Year bring you and your son nothing but the best.

Posted by: Laura at December 22, 2009 01:21 PM

Wishing you and the Boy a joyous Christmas. May the New Year be filled with many blessings for you and your lovely family. Love and ((Hugs))

Posted by: Grandy at December 24, 2009 01:00 AM

Thinking of you and that little man of yours this holiday season. Missing my own two little ones but glad they are finally with their mother.

Let's visit more in the coming year, even if it is only by phone or email. Come down, call or write whenever you want, we'll do something to stay out of trouble!! *L*

Have a very Merry and a Happy Happy!

Posted by: Michele at December 24, 2009 04:17 PM

Merry Christmas to you and your wonderful boy! I hope this coming year brings you peace, comfort, and most of all new joy.

Posted by: Teresa at December 24, 2009 07:34 PM

Merry Christmas!

Posted by: Quality Weenie at December 25, 2009 09:07 AM

Merry Christmas Bobo!

Posted by: GaMongrel at December 25, 2009 10:49 AM

Merry merry Christmas my Dear. I wish out all the best in 2010! :)

Posted by: Richmond at December 25, 2009 04:49 PM

Merry Christmas Oddy darlin. Hope things get much much better this coming year.
God gives us kidlets to keep us sane AND to drive us insane :) Love him bunches, he'll be in college in about three weeks....

Posted by: Patti at December 25, 2009 09:40 PM

Merry Christmas, Oddy. You have endured. You are amazing. My hopes and prayers for a better year remain... smooch on your little guy. He is so very yummy!

Posted by: Bou at December 25, 2009 11:04 PM

Thanks for the Christmas card. Hope you and your boy had a Merry Christmas. 2010 has got to be a better year. Hope to see you then!

Posted by: Jerry in Indiana at December 25, 2009 11:22 PM

Hope you had a good Christmas, and best wishes for a better 2010. Except in football, 'cause Cleveland Rocks!

Posted by: Cappy at December 26, 2009 10:23 AM

Merry Christmas to you and "the boy". I hope this coming year is filled with nothing but joy. You both deserve that and so much more.

Posted by: Sticks at December 26, 2009 08:39 PM

happy chrismas!!!

Posted by: handbags at December 29, 2009 01:30 AM