June 13, 2007

New Truths

I am a big cuddly girl - ok, let's just put this out there, I'm a fat girl - a Lane Bryant wearing fat girl. So, needless to say, I tend to be a bit overly aware of people looking at me.

This past weekend however, I gained a new awareness of being the "fat chick."

We were at an amusement park - with water rides. There was much showing of skin, many bathing suits, short shorts etc . . . walking around in the park.

Then there is me, walking around a park, in Bermuda shorts to hide the pasty-fat legs and a t-shirt so as not to reveal the flabby arms, and I am surrounded by perky teens with all their parts in the right places, sun kissed glows, perfect shapes. I am also surrounded by the adults - you have seen them - they too are perfect, with something to show off so they show it, and single.

Did you read that? SINGLE. As I looked around the park, all the really perfect adult women were there with their girlfriends, no men in sight. Of course they were showing all the right skin to attract a man, but there were no men hanging off their arms, or showing them off to strangers.

Nope. Instead, all those flabby, post-baby, wrinkled, not so perfect women with whom I commiserate had all the men. And the men were not flabby, not so perfect men. The men were GOOD LOOKING.

You read that right. Us not perfect women had all the good looking men following us around, buying us food, holding our hands . . . and the perfect women? SINGLE - with only their single perfect girlfriends for comfort. Now, there are a few exceptions, there are beautiful, perfect women who are not single - but their hubbys? Flabby, less than perfect, geeky even, and full of life and fun.

When did that happen? When did we not so perfect people scoop up all the fine eligible people? I must have been sleeping.

I was always the kind of woman to say to myself - sometimes out loud - "damn, I wish I had her body". This comment is often met with a pleasant squeeze from my DH who kisses me on the head and doesn't say a word. See, he loves me, not necessarily the me I've "grown into" in the last several years, but he still loves me.

Now, when my girlfriends point out a contemporary with a perfect body, I've been known to say "I wonder how much it cost." I'm just wicked that way. Now I will probably look for a wedding ring and if it is missing say, "yes, but doesn't it suck to be alone?" Again . . . wicked . . . I can't help myself.

But seriously, I was pleasantly surprised at the phenomenon. The perfect women, the eye candy, they were SINGLE. While us cuddly girls were not. Kinda makes me not regret that extra full-octane coke I had yesterday . . . kinda.

So the next time you are looking at yourself in the mirror and that sigh escapes your lips because the years have taken their toll, look over at your significant other who is looking at you looking in the mirror and smile, cause that one loves you. And then think about your most perfect girlfriend, or guy friend . . . and ask yourself, who is looking at them looking at themselves in the mirror . . . EXACTLY!

Posted by Oddybobo at June 13, 2007 08:12 AM | TrackBack

::leans over::


Posted by: zonker at June 13, 2007 08:20 AM

Many of those perfect women are HIGH MAINTENANCE. I live in a world FULL of them. Palm Beach county must reign in starving, breast implants, lipsuction, tummy tucks, botox... etc.

i was in the gym the other day and one of the guys I work out with said quietly, "Oh, see that chick? Those are her new tits." Gah! And all the men knew it! But it is what it is and I'm not against people having work (its not for me), but I think its sad for these women who MUST be perfect... what kind of mothers are they? What kind of friends? What kind of partner? Do they allow imperfection around them or do they insist everyone else jump lock step with them?

Posted by: Bou at June 13, 2007 08:21 AM

Well I must just be a freak of nature then. When I HAD the *showoff* body? Nada.

Now? Yeah, I'm wearing the long shorts and t-shirts and STILL.....nada.

But it's a great thought........thanks for that!

Posted by: Tammi at June 13, 2007 08:38 AM

Ok Tammi, you got me. I didn't say the reasoning was perfect . . . just interesting. Can't a fat girl catch a break? *wink, wink*

Posted by: oddybobo at June 13, 2007 08:43 AM

You are beautiful, my friend, just beautiful!

And, I really needed to read this post this morning.

Thank you.

; )

Posted by: Christina at June 13, 2007 09:13 AM

Well, oddy, look at it like this. If we'd've wanted to cuddle with a bundle of sticks, we'd've married a tree. Like the plaque my aunt had in her kitchen, under a painting of a sheep, it said "Ewe's not fat, Ewe's fluffy!" B-)

(who has seen you, Christina, and Tammi, and doesn't think y'all are anywhere near fat, or lost their body)

Posted by: Walrilla at June 13, 2007 09:36 AM

Zonker's comment made me HOWL!! Holy crap - so that's how to type it!! :^D

Otherwise - you knocked it out of the park, M'dear. And you are beautiful. : ) I feel blessed to call you my friend.

Posted by: Richmond at June 13, 2007 10:29 AM

GREAT post Oddy. {{{hugs}}} I also needed to read this, especially today!

Posted by: Kate at June 13, 2007 11:14 AM

I needed this too...THANX, and now about that cookie I had for breakfast....

Posted by: armywifetoddlermom at June 13, 2007 11:34 AM

Two sayings should make it clear:

Lovin' don't last - cookin' do


Never trust a skinny cook.

That's why you're a keeper :-)

Posted by: Harvey at June 13, 2007 01:47 PM

**hugs** from one imperfect body to another.

Posted by: vw bug at June 13, 2007 02:49 PM

*S* There are more things in life than a slim, perfect body!! As long as you is healthy and happy, don't make no difference !! I know where you are coming from with the bermuda shorts and long tee shirts, tho!!

Posted by: Michele at June 13, 2007 04:30 PM

A) There be nothing wrong with you.

B) I like this trend, it's how I hooked Ktreva.

C) It's all in the attitude, not the looks.

Posted by: Contagion at June 13, 2007 05:26 PM

The next time you are tempted to think "I wish I had her body", take a peek at the hubby and remind yourself, "But hey, I've got his!"

Nice post.
Nice observation.

Posted by: Roses at June 13, 2007 06:52 PM

I've seen a photo or two of you, somehow, and...not trying to flatter you or anything, but I didn't think you were at all fat. Not at all. That said, if there was ever going to be an exception to your theory, it would be from me, because I am usually the exception to all rools.

I am not "morbidly obese" (that just conjures up images of human whales), but I, like you, am very modest with how I dress, lest I let my fat parts hang out more than they already do. I definitely fall under the category of "obese" based on my BMI, but still...fat AND no man...hot, ugly, geeky, chic & stylish, dorky or otherwise.

The revealing nature of this probably makes me sound kind of self-pitying, which I was trying to avoid, but still...it just kind of is what it is.


I guess after reading your post am filled with hope that there is a pot for every cover.

Posted by: Erica at June 14, 2007 05:44 PM

Okay, I want to lose weight. Not because I want to be perfect, but I am at the point I need to lose it to be healthy. kind of like quitting smoking. Still as long as you are healthy, I shouldn't think it matters what you weigh, and I think most life partners realize that (god knows, everytime I think about going on a "diet," Pan shows up with my favorite snacks, LOL)

Posted by: Tink at June 16, 2007 12:32 PM